For some people, the saying "it gets better" is helpful. It helps them know that the person telling them that has been through similar experiences, and with work, has found that it really does get better. However, I don't love this saying when it comes to recovery. This is because, for me personally, I can't be thinking "oh it gets better" when I'm having bad days. I need to remember, especially on bad days, that this IS better.
I spent a long period of my life dreading the idea of waking up and starting my day. Dreading getting up and doing work, going outside for a walk, doing my chores, etc. I woke up consistently in a bad headspace for so long. And now I almost always wake up in a great mindset. I still have bad days, get caught in my head, talk poorly to myself, and just have days where it seems hopeless. But even on those days... my mindset, my actions, my choices, and the people I surround myself with are SO MUCH BETTER compared to what I was doing and how I was feeling before being sober.
I constantly remind myself of this fact. Because my life IS better. When I have a horrible day, it's still so much better than my best day while using. And that is something I cannot forget. Because if I do, I'll fall back into the thinking of using to escape my feelings is okay. Because if being sober isn't making my life better right away, then why even try? But the reality of it is, when i really take a step back and look at my life, I can feel how much better I am. I can see how much clearer I'm thinking. I can see how much more care I treat myself with (both mentally and physically). And all of that changed in such a short amount of time. I cannot let go of remembering how my mindset was a little over a month ago, because the difference is drastic.
"When it's a good day and I don't have a drink, it's a good day. When it's a bad day and I don't have a drink, it's a GREAT day." This is so incredibly true. On my bad days, if I remind myself how bad my days used to be, it makes it easier to not go back out. Because I never want to be in the headspace I used to be in. And sure, wouldn't it be so nice to just forget about my problems for a night and just go out and get fucked up? YES, it absolutely would... but what happens that next time I feel bad or have emotions come up? The same thing would happen because I never actually sat with, confronted, and dealt with those feelings and emotions.
Just know it’s ok to have bad days, it's ok to be sad, and it's ok to get mad. But never forget how much harder it was to feel, accept, and properly handle those emotions before. It does get better, I do believe that 100%, but don't forget that it also IS better!
You're not alone and you never have to be!
FOF